Had an ephiphany today

Have been wrestling with a dilemma recently. In the past, especially when I was working full time, I really never had to think about what I would do if I were in a position where I wasn't able to work and help bring in the needed income to make ends meet. Yes, I had been in very precarious financial straits over my life time. I had been a single mom, not receiving any help from my ex, had to go on welfare (that's what assistance was called in the 70's) I had become an embarrassment to my family. Luckily I didn't live close enough to be a daily in-their-face reminder of what a failure I had become. (That is, a failure, in their definition of the word, not making a lot of money, not having a prestigious job, not giving them anything to be able to brag about to others, not living up to the standard set by my affluent, living in an upscale local community, somewhat snobby family)

You see, I had decided that I wanted to focus on my family, and although I did qualify to get that prestigious set of 3 letters after my name, I chose not to go down that path. I had my kids early, and by the time I was in a position to go for that advanced degree they were old enough (teen/preteen) that I realized that I shouldn't do it as it would mean being away from them for long periods of time, and I wanted them to have me around, even if it meant I was working at lower paying, more mundane jobs.

So, guess what, they now tell me that they resented me being at a 9 to 5 job anyway, it didn't matter what I had been doing!! But at least I was home every night, which wouldn't have happened if I had gone for that designation.

So why am I going down this memory path today?? It is because I made the decision to not work while raising Mia, which is meaning that I have to really pull in the reins and live on much less, while as we all know everything gets more and more expensive.

So my epiphany comes from examining my gardens, and what they are used for. Not much that has been productive for our family. So I have found out about a new kind of gardening, called permaculture, which combines many different kinds of plantings, and makes them more productive, and for our household it means getting more edibles into our landscape!! I had left the vegetable gardening to John in more recent years. I had so little stamina, and was in poor health, so it was the last thing I wanted to think about. It was just easier to go to the store to get whatever we needed to eat.

Now, on a very limited income, and facing only retirement income in a few short years, I have been rethinking my life, and more specifically the use of my gardens. Thus the plans I am working on to introduce more edibles and transform these gardens into a more productive source of food plants, thus saving us money!!

So I had started to work on my living mulch post, when right in the middle of it this is what happened.
(This is where I was working at the time)
Another plant which you may not think of as a ground cover is our native Violets, Viola, which are plentiful in my whole yard! I brought a few plants in from my Auntie Joe's home, where she lived until she was 93 (and lived five more years at my cousin's).

So here I am compelled to tell you that I come from a very good stock of Italian women (on my dad's side). He only lived to be 74, but of his three older sisters, two lived to be 98, and the other to 94, so I figure I have 34+ years to go!! With that thought, I realize that I can get a lot done in the years ahead of me. I will get to see Mia become an adult and have a family, if that is in the cards for her. I will get to see my grandkids grow up and possibly do the same. I will have the opportunity of staying in this house for many years to come. And that is a great realization for me today, as I am making big plans for changes around the gardens, and was wondering over the weekend whether or not I was getting too carried away in those plans. I am figuring out how I can better utilize the front yard, as my hubby has finally realized that he is tired of all the lawn in front, and the time it takes to maintain it. Every year it dies out over the leaching field and he has been fighting a losing battle to try to get a good quality grass to grow there. Short of digging it out and putting in the necessary loam to do it properly, he has been patching it annually. So FINALLY he has gotten tired of doing it. We are at an age where we need to streamline the work around here, and the lawn takes up a good part of his down time.

SOOOOOO..... yes, I am going to remove more lawn this fall!!! And I am excited at the prospect!! LOL!! It has only taken him 22 years of dealing with it!! LOL And now I can do what I want, working around the leaching field to more fully utilize the sunny front yard!!! So I have been thinking about what I'd like to be doing, and then thinking that I am 60, and do I really want to be putting in this much work, when I will be waning down soon.

So here comes the ephipany...

And then, while writing this post about the Violets, I have this epiphany, that I will be here well into my 90's. My mother, who is still alive, is now 86 and counting. So why should I be even thinking of not doing whatever I want to do, in order to better utilize my property, my gardens, and make them more productive??!!! After all, there are many years yet to come and it is a great challenge to come up with a new plan that will incorporate what is here into a new plan that will change my gardens into a more bountiful, useful and productive state.


So, with that in mind, I am confident in the knowledge that this is my new path. And now on with my work!!!!

I am working on a new berry area, moving trees and shrubs around to lay down a foundation for more vegetables in the spring, and more food throughout the season! And now out to get it going!!

Such great weather for change!!! have a great day!