Had an off day yesterday. Humidity finally got the best of my body, no cooperation there whatsoever. Those of you with Fibro know what I mean. (And there are more of us out there than you can even imagine) My mind was foggy, body sore, computer not cooperating, too easily distracted. The noise of traffic going by washed out the sound of my normal early morning symphony, could barely hear the birds. And today, the birds sound distant, not right close by, the traffic is much louder than usual, still in a bit of a fog.
But it's not the traffic, the birds or the computer that's not right today (or yesterday). It's me, I lost focus, I let it get the best of me, but am now taking back the focus, determined to not let "it" be dominant in my life today. One day at a time, an old mantra.
I grew up in the sixties, such a different time. I was that mom, from that show "One Day at a Time", a single mom trying to get through each day supporting two kids on my own, no help from ex or family.
Had a great evening with my adult daughter yesterday. We had dinner at Cinema Pub watching "Sex and the City." What fun!! She is mom to 2 toddlers (my cherished redheads, Ryan and Katelyn). She asked me about my early life as a single mom - I guess that's why it came up here.
How did I get through it? I did what I had to do, just got through each day, with the support of friends and neighbors. You need to find what you need to get by. I had no family support, but I found family through friends and neighbors. They were my support system. They helped me get through it, we did it together, all us single parents, raising kids on our own, some, like me, with no help from ex spouses, went through bad times, but we came out on the other side, (tho scarred), eventually.
The hardest part of that type of experience is the effect it has on the innocent kids. And it is just impossible to explain it to them, even when they are adults, with families of their own.
You just hope and pray that they never have to experience the bad times you had to go through, but you know that they have to go through their own times, good and bad. Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could put our kids in a bubble and protect them from all life will throw at them?? One of my new friends has a saying, "Put it in a bubble and blow it away", that I just love.
That's what I loved about the "America's Got Talent" contestant Neal Boyd. If you didn't see him, do a Utube search, he's amazing. He was brought up by a single mom with his brother, with no help from the ex or family. His mom had to work alot to put food on the table. He didn't know he was poor until she told him they were. He knew she wasn't around much because she had had to work so hard to support them on her own. And he acknowledged, on national tv that he understood that she had sacrificed so much to give them what she was able to give them to get them to where they are today. It was just heart wrenching to hear this adult say that he got it. He realized that she did what she had to do, and he was okay with it. It was what his life was, and now this is what his life is. And he is able to express his love and gratitude to her through his magnificent voice!!
The myriad experiences of my early life and all those that followed have made me the person I am today. I treasure my family, and friends, old and new. I have made it a priority to be there when possible to prevent those I love from having to be alone in times of need, physical or emotional. I can relate to those going through difficult times, and I can reach out to them with love , compassion and empathy. I would not have that ability if I had not earned it along the way. I am grateful for where I am today. I am sitting here reaching out, and all because I started a garden years ago. You never know what something you put in motion will lead to. The possibilities can be limited or endless. It's all up to the individual.
Ah, my beloved Oriole is back, serenading me, right outside my window. Thank you, good friend. I knew you'd be back. I love the consistency of nature. Certain birds, like the Oriole and the Cardinal settle in a location and stay. I took great pains to attract birds to our yard, sunflower for the Cardinals, oranges for the Orioles. We've been blessed with the two families for years now. They are here year round, but it is in spring when I most enjoy awakening to the sounds of them. Having the windows open, it is easier to hear their magical sounds. It's like being in a theater with a wrap around Dolby sound system. The song comes from all around me, seeping into my very core.
And it heals, heals the pain of the moment, by distraction. I find myself focusing on the beauty of the moment, which keeps me from even being aware of the pain which can sometimes engulf me.
You see, I learned a great thing recently. I learned that I can keep only one thought in my mind in a single moment. And that is all that matters. A single thought in the present moment. With that awareness, that my mind can only handle one thought at a time, and that I can control what that thought will be, I have been able to change the way I live my life. I have learned how to calm the seemingly endless "mind chatter" so that it no longer consumes me.
By being mindfully present in the moment, I can chase away the thought that acknowledges the pain of the moment. Now I am not suggesting that this takes away the pain, that is unrealistic. I am saying that I have found a way of setting the pain elsewhere, on the back burner, so to speak, and putting other thoughts in the forefront, thoughts that are positive and productive. And I am only human. I am not always able to remember that I need to do this, it has not become spontaneous in my life yet. I need reminders, to remember that this is a continuing journey, a learning process, one that takes time, patience and practice. I hope I get it right someday, but I may not - I'm very ADD, so I really have to work at it some days more than others. And I'm okay with that reality.
This morning, when I realized what was going on, I went outside, in the dark, in the back yard , away from the street noise, to listen for the birds. They were not nearby. I realized that I probably chased them out of my yard with my diminished positive energy. I took a deep breath, focused on it, and breathed in all that was around me, went back in and let the words start to flow again. Yesterday I was unable to tap into that source of words that usually just spill out all over each other. That was writer's block - now I get to truly understand what that means.
And now, focused, I am so excited to tell you that I had my first Monarch visitor to the gardens yesterday. It was in the Butterfly Weed, and just kept slurping up the nectar, even though being constantly challenged by bees and other flying creatures trying to usurp his position on the plant!!
I hope you are following all the comments posted as we are on a butterfly source plant watch. Keep an eye out for milkweed. You don't want to miss out on the opportunity of raising your own Monarch. I have filmed the metamorphosis, with time lapse photography. It was in the days of the regular VCR camera, not digital. So this year I need to do it digitally, so that I can post if for all to see. The Monarch life cycle is 14 days from egg to butterfly. It is just amazing to watch. And if you are lucky enough you can actually see it change into the chrysalis, and then into the butterfly. It is a much quicker process than other species. The chrysalis changes within about 30 minutes!!
So I hope I have tantalized you with this wonderful creature enough that you will locate the nearest Milkweed patch so that you, too, can get to witness this fascinating and miraculous magical process of nature firsthand.
Other exciting news - I found a caterpillar new to me!! Doesn't it look like bird droppings??
As the day wore on it took pieces of the petals and attached them to its body! More photos will be posted as this one grows!!
This is one of three similar species, either the Viceroy, Basilarchia archippus, Red-spotted Purple, Basilarchia astyanax or White Admiral, Vanessa atalanta. Which of the three will be determined when we get to the butterfly stage!And Babs' Lupine seeds have sprouted their second leaves!! You can now tell they are going to be Lupines!
I also noticed that my Pipevine was sending out lots of new shoots. After researching it, I found out I can take root cuttings for new plants - so this picture shows cuttings getting ready to root!!
There won't be many to give out, so you will need to get on the list to get a cutting reserved. Preference will go to VIP Gardeners on this.
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